Monday, December 15, 2008

I Got that Goose

As many of you know I'm on my workout grind...up to four times a week now (yeah!). So today, personal trainer cutie offered to give me a ride home since he drove to work. Well, he parked in the South Loop (southern area of downtown for my non-Chicagoans). But I wasn't complaining since I'd be in a warm vehicle (and he owes me BIG time) instead of waiting for the bus in the frigid air. In order for us to get to where he parked, we have to jump on the red line. Now, the red line going and coming anywhere between South and downtown can be quite an adventure (as well as the Green line, which I have great stories from riding to and from church).

So we're sitting across from each other chatting it up, this brotha with a large coat proceeds to move so that he's now sitting next to us. Trainer and I both give each other the "ok, what he want?" eye. Brotha proceed to ask, "yall drink?" Trainer answers "naw man." Brotha proceeds to say as he brings a fifth of Goose out the inside of his coat, "oh ok, 'cause I'm about to say, what yall need, cause I got it. Goose, Remy, Henn, and it's half off." And like that he brings out a fifth of Remy, Henn along with the Goose. I immediately crack up laughing because never have I seen a brotha selling liquor. We all know that brothas be on their hustle in the Chi. Socks, washcloths..DVDs, CDs. I have even been in the beauty salon and some ladies came in selling panties from H & M. Yes, panties!

But I digress. So, Trainer humors him and says, "so how much you selling that Goose for?" Hustleman: "It's $35 but for you $20." Trainer goes on to explain that he doesn't have enough cash on him, and Hustleman proceeds to bring out a 1/2 of Goose saying "well if you can't afford the 1/5 I got the 1/2 and the small bottle. I even got Absolute," as he goes in a pocket and brings out a small bottle of regular Abso, and turns to me and says "I know the girls can't handle the strong stuff so I got the Citrus for you." He speaks of Absolute Citron. At this point, my head is down and my laugh is muffled. And, I'm not sure if I'm laughing at the fact that Hustleman is selling liquor, he called Citron citrus (I know it's the same thing, but he said it so seriously), or that he was able to walk around with all those bottles of liquor! He had to have had at least 10 bottles on him..but I guess if he was breaking a sweat, he was probably keeping him warm in this darn cold.

You gotta love Chicago right?


Reese said...


where in the hell was I???
i woulda got some goose off of him.
i think i need to get back to my soul train diary....that was funny as hell, yo, i dont wanna throw any salt on your game but i may have to come get a workout or 2 with you cause i need a buddy to get motivated.

T said...

OMG! LOL! I have the same exact reaction while reading this story. Burst out laughing, couldn't stop laughing, then put my head down trying to muffle my laugh. LAWD, I love my crazy city!

PyT said...

I'm not going to lie...I was thinking if I had $20, I would have scooped up that Goose (lowkey). But I just wish you guys would have saw all the bottles he had on him...I was wondering who the maker of his coat was because I have never seen so many pockets. There were like pockets inside the pockets. And I want to know what liquor store he hit, because he straight took them. I need them to step their security game up!

PyT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reese said...

next time...cop, ill give you the cash back, get one for me