Friday, January 30, 2009

I like 'em... BUT ...

I had dinner and drinks one Sunday with a new friend, and the conversation of settling came up. You know settling for someone who you otherwise wouldn’t date if you had other (better) prospects on the bench, but since he or she is the only one in the line up, you still give the relationship a chance. He informed me that women always seem to date men who are "but's." You know when your friends bring him/her up, you say “I like him/her BUT ” or “He/She’s cool BUT .” There’s that ONE THING you just can’t seem to get over. The latest from one of my girls that has me dying is, “He’s cool BUT he’s an IOTA.” Some may find it to be superficial but one has to wonder why does a young man opt to pledge Iota. (There were other characteristics that my girl used to figure out that he was a total lame).

I’ve encountered just about all: he’s not cute, he’s got 2 kids, he’s short, he’s got hips, he’s got man boobs, he’s not trying to do anything with his life, his no-good daddy lives with him, he can’t hold a decent conversation, he doesn’t have a job. And even after finding out about these “issues” on the 1st or 2nd date, I would continue to give it a chance thinking just perhaps things would turn around or the better qualities will overrule those I don’t care for. NOPE! You end up wasting your time, realizing that it could and would never work. I now result in either a) letting the relationship fade out or b) letting him know he’s cool as the fan and he can be the friend. There have been cases where I was very honest in letting the guy know why we could no longer date and there are those where I gave him the BS excuse (I know, wrong, but I didn’t want to bruise the man’s ego any further).

Who were your “but’s” from past relationships? Did it end up working out in the end? Or did you end up just wasting time? Were you ever direct in why you could no longer date?

5 comments:

suga said...

OMG, I dated a guy 2 years ago and my excuse for not really liking him was because he was an IOTA. Thats hella funny that I had the same excuse lol

T said...

I plead the F-I-F FIFTH!

TatooTuesday said...

But she was a hoe...

But she likes girls...

But she will buy weed but not invest in a bed...

I could say more, you I'm pleading the fifth after that.

thefabulousgiver said...

I almost died after the "but he's an IOTA." Hahaha...I've definitely used the "but he's..." before in conversation. You're right...It never works out!

So, I've decided not to deal with "but" folks anymore. Some call it being a b*tch or picky, but I simply call it damage control!

C.WOOD said...

Maaan, A dude with hips?!?! I don't even know what that means. I think there is always going to be "buts" when you are dating. In fact am looking for the "but" girls cause the sec you run a cross the girl with no "but"... you might need to put a ring on it!

Not that, thats bad "but" I enjoy this stage of life right now.