I had dinner and drinks one Sunday with a new friend, and the conversation of settling came up. You know settling for someone who you otherwise wouldn’t date if you had other (better) prospects on the bench, but since he or she is the only one in the line up, you still give the relationship a chance. He informed me that women always seem to date men who are "but's." You know when your friends bring him/her up, you say “I like him/her BUT ” or “He/She’s cool BUT .” There’s that ONE THING you just can’t seem to get over. The latest from one of my girls that has me dying is, “He’s cool BUT he’s an IOTA.” Some may find it to be superficial but one has to wonder why does a young man opt to pledge Iota. (There were other characteristics that my girl used to figure out that he was a total lame).
I’ve encountered just about all: he’s not cute, he’s got 2 kids, he’s short, he’s got hips, he’s got man boobs, he’s not trying to do anything with his life, his no-good daddy lives with him, he can’t hold a decent conversation, he doesn’t have a job. And even after finding out about these “issues” on the 1st or 2nd date, I would continue to give it a chance thinking just perhaps things would turn around or the better qualities will overrule those I don’t care for. NOPE! You end up wasting your time, realizing that it could and would never work. I now result in either a) letting the relationship fade out or b) letting him know he’s cool as the fan and he can be the friend. There have been cases where I was very honest in letting the guy know why we could no longer date and there are those where I gave him the BS excuse (I know, wrong, but I didn’t want to bruise the man’s ego any further).
Who were your “but’s” from past relationships? Did it end up working out in the end? Or did you end up just wasting time? Were you ever direct in why you could no longer date?